Bungo Stray Dogs - Volume 3 Chapter 2 Part 2

Chapter 2 Part 2

Night fell upon the agency. The meeting had finally come to an end, in all respects. Everyone left the room, each giving their impressions, then went back home. Although still utterly confused, Tanizaki ended up being assigned the role of the bomber for tomorrow’s entrance exam, and his sister, Naomi, was going to play the hostage. Nevertheless, Tanizaki did not have to do this alone. Both Dazai and Kunikida—who respectively pulled “3” and “7,” the next smallest numbers—would be assisting him. Specifically, they were going to call over the rookie to have him run into the bomber and solve the case.
“Good work today, Tanizaki.” Yosano smiled faintly and patted Tanizaki on the shoulder on her way out. “I had a great time.”
“Good luck tomorrow!” Kenji cheerfully waved good-bye. “I really hope the new guy passes the test!”
Ranpo had already left the building before anyone noticed. On his desk sat a bag of cheap sweets, a cookie cutter, a meat bun wrapper, and some scribblings of the office floor detailing the best places for a bomber to barricade themselves. This must have been Ranpo’s way of cheering him on, but Tanizaki just woefully stared at it…because this much detail meant Ranpo must’ve started on the sketch before they’d even drawn lots.
Tanizaki pondered Ranpo’s business trip the next day. He must have predicted that would be when the entrance exam took place, so he arranged it so he could be gone in order to avoid the hassle—as one would expect from the possessor of Super Deduction, which could see all truths.
Most frightening, though, was the fact that Ranpo actually wasn’t a skill user. He truly believed he was, but he merely possessed godlike powers of observation and deduction, which he subconsciously used. But the truth as to why and how Ranpo believed this was a mystery to all those at the agency.

“This is bullshit!” Kunikida yelled out in the pub.
“Come on, Kunikida… It’s okay…,” Tanizaki feebly pleaded.
They were at a pub not too far from the detective agency, one that stayed open late. Orange light radiated from the hanging lanterns as red-faced customers clamored like the roaring sea. On the family altar near the ceiling was a small daruma doll on display.
Kunikida and Tanizaki walked through the pub’s curtain to have a review meeting and a reward for their hard work. In other words, a celebration half fueled by despair.
“Man, that was fun, huh?”
Dazai smiled while sampling his sake. He was tagging along for who knows why. Tanizaki, who was still underage, sipped on his soda. “But seriously, I just can’t believe you found us out…”
“Heh. I’ve been scheming since you were in diapers,” Dazai said with a chuckle, then tilted his sake cup. “But the reason you failed this time was because of Kunikida’s mistake. Dragging his junior into this—especially when that junior was you—was too obvious. It made too much sense. A plan like that’s best done solo.”
Kunikida glared at Dazai, pouting. “When you’re right, you’re right,” he muttered.
“But, Dazai, how did you do it? If you’d pulled a big number, then I’d get it, but how did you make me draw a one?”

Tanizaki drew from the pile of his own free will. The only way to make him draw a “1,” you would need to make the last fifty slips of paper all “1”s. While he did convince Naomi to join his side, he still clearly didn’t have any time to switch out the slips of paper after Kenji drew a “33” right before Tanizaki’s turn.
“A true magician never reveals his secrets.” Dazai mischievously placed a finger to his lips. “I recommend figuring it out for yourself before you even try deceiving me again.”
“I’ve been scheming since you were in diapers.”
Dazai hadn’t been exaggerating. Kunikida then lowered his head to Tanizaki apologetically.
“Sorry, Tanizaki.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Tanizaki smiled. “It was a good experience.”
That was the truth. He had made it this far in life because he was easily swayed by others. He went along with Kunikida’s scheme because he was asked to, and he was going to play the bomber because that was the role shoved onto him. Despite having a slightly bizarre skill, he wasn’t great in combat like the other agents, nor was he especially cunning. Tanizaki didn’t have any mortal enemies, nor did he have a dark past or any trauma. He was an ordinary guy. The only thing he really even wished for was his little sister’s happiness.
Even then, he didn’t care where the tide took him as long as he was in the detective agency. Therefore, he even planned on having fun with the bomber’s role that was pushed onto him. Fortunately, nobody had ever rebuked him for being weak-willed.
“Nothing wrong with being weak. Let the tide take you somewhere far away.”
Tanizaki thought back to something a former teacher had once said to him. Just when he lifted his head back up with a wry smirk, the waiter brought their food to the table.
“Sigh. We wasted an entire day for nothing,” muttered Kunikida. “Tanizaki, have whatever you want. I know it’s not enough to pay you back for all that lost time, but tonight’s on me.”
“Hooray!” cheered Dazai. “I’m not paying for you.”
Kunikida asked the waitress for another glass of sake before facing the table once more.
“By the way, we never got to finish talking about why the detective agency was founded, did we?” Tanizaki commented while picking up a slice of potato with his chopsticks.
“Oh, right…” After taking a taste of his sake, Kunikida let out a deep sigh. “The president rarely talks about his past or himself. He doesn’t give much instruction, either. When the time comes, he’ll tell us how the agency was founded.” Kunikida stared off into space and continued as if he were talking to himself. “I’d love to meet the person who convinced the president to start it.”
Dazai ambiguously smirked. Tanizaki then thought to himself that if it was someone that well acquainted with the agency, then it wouldn’t be a surprise if they had already met the person. Perhaps it was even somebody they knew very well.
“But I bet you everyone’s dying to know. Go ask the boss next time we’re at work, Kunikida.”
“Why me? You do it.”
“All right, let’s all draw slips of paper to deci—”
“I am never drawing lots again.” Kunikida scowled at Dazai.
“How about we play a game where the four of us, including the president, draw lots, and the loser has to tell an embarrassing story from their past? That could work, methinks.”
“Well, ‘methinks’ you need to shut up!” Kunikida yelled. “The only outcome I can see is me telling embarrassing stories about my past alone!”
He tossed back his sake, then lazily drooped his head. Tanizaki slightly bowed when the waitress brought them another dish.
“I ended up somehow helping you avoid taking responsibility today. It’s humiliating. I really thought I had you this time,” groaned Kunikida. “I don’t care how I do it. I just want to win and make you say uncle.”
“Ha-ha. All you had to do was ask, and I’ll say it as many times as you’d like. Uncle. Uncle… Now, I wonder what kind of food awaits us under this lid here,” Dazai said while reaching out for the plate the waitress left.
“By the way, Dazai, you drew a three, the smallest number after mine… which means you’re supposed to bring the new guy on the day of the test.” Tanizaki curiously tilted his head to the side. “Why didn’t you try to avoid doing that, too?”
“Uncle, uncle, uncle. That’s because during the meeting today I felt that Kunikida wasn’t just trying to make me pay for everything I do to him on a daily basis. It was like he also wanted me to learn something during this entrance exam, and, well, you have to show a little gratitude for people’s goodwill every once in a while.”
“Hmph. You’re just the absolute worst,” Kunikida spat before looking away as if to hide his expression.
Dazai dragged the plate closer and reached for the lid. As he glanced toward the back of the pub, he commented, “Huh. I feel like I’ve seen that waitress from somewhere before…”
He removed the lid, which instantly made a clicking sound. “……Hmm…?”
Underneath was not food, but some sort of bizarre, elaborate contraption and solid fuel made from a claylike putty. Sticking out from the contraption was a fuse with a cord that connected to the lid in Dazai’s hand. Stuck to the back of the lid was a scrap of paper that slowly fluttered down onto the table:
“I said to keep your eyes on me and me alone.”
Wrapped around the rim of the lid was a motion-sensor cable. “……Uhhh… Is this…what I think it is…? One of those things that
goes boom if I pull the lid any more than this…?”
Face still frozen in a smile, Dazai turned to his colleagues. However… “Huh…? Tanizaki? Kunikida?”
…they were gone before he’d even realized. Sensing danger, they’d bolted out of there like scared rabbits. All that remained were Dazai, who couldn’t even move a muscle, the bomb on a plate, and the other patrons, who began to realize what was happening and started to panic.
“…Uhhh… ”
Dazai pondered, looked up, looked down, thought about the position he was in, then considered what he ought to say next before murmuring feebly:
“…Uncle.”

It was the night before the new employee, Atsushi Nakajima, joined the agency—and the night had only just begun.

(End)