Bungo Stray Dogs - Volume 5 Chapter 6 Part 4

6—4

In a daze, Atsushi stood in the prison cell–like stone room.
“Your soul demonstrated that will to live when you killed me… So show me your soul—your spark!” Shibusawa had loudly demanded before disappearing from the room of memories. Atsushi was the only one left.
“Spark of life…?” Atsushi softly uttered to himself. “What does that even mean? I don’t have any spark. I was actually kind of relieved when the fog took my tiger powers from me, because that meant I couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. I thought that proved that the tiger and I were separate entities all along…”
However…
Atsushi saw evidence of what happened six years ago: how he killed Shibusawa and how he survived after almost being killed himself. The tiger’s savage claws were frightening. There was no mistaking that.
“But…,” quietly uttered Atsushi. “The tiger saved me that day…”
The room suddenly vanished before his eyes, and a path appeared in its place. The path was shrouded in darkness, making it impossible to see what waited ahead.
Even so…
Atsushi bit his lip and took the first step forward. He figured it was better to walk into the darkness than not move at all. He heard the tiger’s roar coming from somewhere, but for some reason, he seemed to accept it.
“No matter how far I walk or run, the tiger will still follow me…”
Did it all begin when Atsushi opened the white door? Or had this been going on long before that? Even after Atsushi lost his skill, the tiger still chased after him. Even after he destroyed the red crystal on the tiger’s forehead, it still felt like he was by Atsushi’s side whether he liked it or not.
Atsushi used to be afraid that the tiger was inside of him. It terrified him.
But…, he thought, is the tiger nothing more than something for me to fear?

…No. I think—I’m sure that’s not all it is. Because whether it brings me fear or courage, the tiger is part of me.
“It’s just like how I can’t run away from my own heartbeat…because you’re my strength to keep living.” Atsushi lifted his chin and peered into the darkness. The howling of the tiger grew nearer. “I can hear you clearly now. I understand what you want to say.”
After he addressed the tiger inside of him, Atsushi began to run. It was as if the beast was telling him to pick up the pace.
Atsushi’s eyes lit up. “I know! Everyone’s fighting for their lives!”
He was no longer going to be afraid of his past and be at the mercy of merely a small part of himself.
“So I’ll say the same to you: Hurry up if you don’t want to get left behind,” Atsushi ordered. He then called out its name—the part of himself he had finally come to accept:
“Let’s go, Byakko!”
The tiger leaped toward Atsushi’s extended hand as it howled beneath the white moonlight.