Bungo Stray Dogs - Volume 6 Chapter 1 Part 7

Chapter 1 Part 7

“No, listen, your work isn’t just fighting. It’s—” “I shall tear all the paperwork to shreds as well.” “Don’t!”
And it didn’t end there.
“Look—today you’ll be learning how to properly conduct business here. Our client has asked us to expose a child abduction ring. I’ve invited a witness—a child who was almost a victim himself—to the agency for questioning. However, the boy is only twelve years old, and the event is still fresh in his mind, so be careful with how you phrase your questions.”
“Hey, kid. Tell me what the person who tried to kidnap you looked like. Now. And don’t tell me you don’t remember—unless you don’t mind being thrown out the fourth-floor window.”
“Huh?! I—I—I—I—”
“Don’t threaten him, you idiot! Akutagawa, did you even listen to what I said? Do you want the agency to get sued?!”
“If you can’t remember, I’ll throw you out the fifth-floor window. If you still can’t remember, I’ll take you up to the sixth floor and the seventh floor after that.”
“He’d already be dead after you threw him out the fifth-floor window!” “Ah. Then the third floor shall do.”
“What kind of compromise is that?”
“This is getting us nowhere. I’m just going to find every person who fits the suspect’s description and beat the truth out of them.”
“It appears I’ll have to help you develop some social skills before we even start working on scheduling…”
And it simply got worse from there.
Akutagawa ignored all business procedures. He neglected miscellaneous routine duties. To make a long story short, destruction was his go-to answer for everything. It didn’t matter whether he was talking to a victim, a client, or a criminal. He always tried to use his skill to beat answers out of them. It appeared to be more of an innate trait of his rather than something he learned from his environment or experience.
When Kunikida pointed out how accepting and tame Akutagawa had been while farming with Kenji, Akutagawa offered a calm response: He personally knew just how important food was due to where he’d grown up. Paperwork, however, doesn’t fill your stomach. He’d tried—many times, in fact—and it still left him hungry.
Only a week had passed, yet Kunikida’s plan to turn Akutagawa into a model detective was on the verge of falling apart.

“Akutagawa? Akutagawa! Where are you?!” Kunikida came bounding through the agency’s office.
“Kunikida? Is everything okay?” asked Tanizaki while he was working at his desk.
“Akutagawa is supposed to be filing paperwork right now, and he’s nowhere to be found! He must have used his skill to remove the restraints around his wrists and ankles, then ran away…”
Kunikida’s clenched fist was trembling.
“There’s no going back now! I’ll need to report this to the president… It’s time we assign someone to surveil Akutagawa—the disciplinarian’s disciplinary monitor!”
“And then who monitors the monitor? That sounds endless…” Tanizaki frowned. “But if you’re looking for Akutagawa, he’s right there.”
“What?! Where?”
“There. Look. Right there.”
Tanizaki pointed at the reception desk used to welcome clients when they arrived on the office floor. Nobody was there…or so Kunikida thought.
Akutagawa was hiding underneath the desk. He was camouflaged among the shadows, still with that same piercing stare.
“What…? What are you doing?”
Kunikida curiously tilted his head to the side.
“I’m hiding from Dr. Yosano,” Akutagawa replied, his expression and voice equally emotionless.
“…Pardon?”
“Apparently, Dr. Yosano said that Akutagawa needed to undergo her healing ability forty times if he wanted her to stamp his OK Card,” mentioned Tanizaki with a sympathetic expression. “Akutagawa readily agreed to undergo the treatment if that’s all it took…but Yosano grabbed a hatchet and an electric saw—”
“Okay, that’s enough.” Kunikida closed his eyes and shook his head. “I have a good idea of what happened.”

“I was able to endure it the first four times.” Akutagawa’s sharp gaze glowed within the darkness. “But after that, I… There are realms that one must never venture into. Even if one were to survive, experiencing that forty times would surely send them over the edge.”
“Not even Akutagawa is a match for her…” Kunikida sighed. “I’d run away, too, but work is still work. Did you forget our promise? We’re going to expose that child kidnapping ring this week, and we are already way behind schedule thanks to you not taking this work seriously. We won’t meet our deadline at this rate. How do y—”
“The kidnapping ringleaders are in the next room.” “What?”
“I already captured them,” claimed Akutagawa without batting an eye. “If someone is kidnapping children for profit, then there are essentially two main ways to do so: human trafficking and ransoms. The former uses children from poor families while the latter uses children from wealthy ones. I can’t speak for the latter, but having grown up on the streets, I am painfully aware of how these criminals kidnap destitute children. Therefore, I simply followed the trail. I squeezed every scumbag I knew in the slums for information until I was able to identify the man who had recently participated in the kidnappings. I stormed the criminals’ hideout after the man told me its location, and I captured everyone present using my skill… They’ll be judged for their crimes in a court of law, so I spared their lives. I had to slice off a few toes to prevent some of them from escaping, though.”
Kunikida immediately rushed over to the reception room next door. When he entered, he found five men gagged and hog-tied on the floor. The moment they saw Kunikida, they screamed out with tears welling in their eyes.
“What the…?”
The number of suspects and their physical appearances corresponded with the information the agency had obtained during their investigation over the last week.
“Sigh… He really isn’t going to be able to set an example for the others, is he? I told him to follow the plan.” Kunikida scratched his head with a bitter smirk. “What kind of person cuts business plans short by an entire week?” Oda and Akutagawa were sprinting down the culverts under the city of Yokohama.
Oda moved like the wind through the underdrain, leaping over wire mesh fences and kicking off drainpipes to jump even higher, then rolling forward upon landing to soften the impact.
He was being chased by something fabric. A blade of cloth tore through the air, destroying the ground below Oda’s feet. He leaped out of the way right before it could hit him, then grabbed onto a drainpipe on the ceiling and swung himself quickly forward like a pendulum. The incoming streams of fabric snapped the drainpipe like a twig, but Oda had already let go by then and was landing on a different level.
“Wait!” came a beastly roar from behind.
“Nope,” Oda replied casually, not even out of breath. The pursuer— Akutagawa’s skill—was surging straight for him from behind with each attack aimed for his neck. At times, Oda leaned to the side, while at others, he used a bullet to deflect the fabric and dodge. None of the attacks were connecting; it was as if an invisible wall were protecting Oda.
“What’s wrong? You’re supposed to be practicing in case the man you’re after tries to run away. Come at me with everything you’ve got,” taunted Oda while sprinting. “Your skill is powerful, but your lack of physical strength is always going to hold you back when it comes to a battle of endurance. Ranpo’s deduction, those stamps—it’s all gonna be for nothing at this rate.”
“Ha…ha-ha…!” laughed Akutagawa while panting. “This is why you are my master! However…!”
Oda suddenly stopped in his tracks with a look of utter astonishment. “This is…”
Because he found himself in a stone corridor—a dead end. There was no place to run, nor was there anything to use as a barricade.
“I know the culverts underneath Yokohama like the back of my hand. I led you straight to a dead end, for not even you would be able to escape a saturation attack here if I use my skill.”
Oda looked around and scratched his head. “All right. You win.” He then pointed at Akutagawa’s feet and said, “By the way, look below you.”
“What?”
Akutagawa dubiously lifted his foot and looked down. Bullet holes were carved into the floor. There were six bullet holes right where his foot had just been that outlined the sole of his shoe. Taken aback, Akutagawa retreated a step and noticed there were bullet holes arranged in the same pattern where his other foot had been.
“I shot at the ceiling just before you came into this room. The bullets then ricocheted and landed in the ground right where you’re looking… What do you think would’ve happened if I waited another second to shoot?”
“The bullets would have pierced my skull from my blind spot…” Akutagawa scowled.
“Exactly. Still, being able to dictate where your opponent runs is impressive, so let me treat you to some udon. You’ve earned it.”
Akutagawa pondered for a few moments before asking, “Udon…?
Why?”
“I just feel like udon. That’s all,” Oda answered, his expression unchanged.
Akutagawa’s piercing gaze narrowed even more as he said, “Stamp my card if you wish to reward me. Your stamp and Yosano’s are the only ones left I need.”
“What do you plan on doing about Yosano’s?”
“It won’t be a problem. I’ll…think of something tomorrow.” Akutagawa casually averted his gaze.
“Uh-huh. Well, if you want my stamp…,” began Oda. “I just remembered I had a job I’d like you to do for me. It’s simple, really. Even a kid could do it.”
Akutagawa nodded and urged, “Go on.”
“I’m going out of town on business tomorrow for three days. I want you to go check up on things at the shop while I’m gone.”
“‘The shop’?”
“It’s a restaurant,” revealed Oda. “Me and this restaurant go way back, even before I joined the agency. Unfortunately, though, I have to leave town on business on the day I promised I’d help out, so I want you to go in my place.”
Akutagawa appeared suspicious, so Oda added, “Don’t worry. It’s never that crowded.” He shrugged. “Just play with some kids, and it’ll be over before you know it.”

“Damn you, Sakunosuke Oda… You tricked me.”
Five, then six kids were taking turns jumping on Akutagawa. “Yay!”
“Whee!”
“He’s just like a slide!”
The children squealed and shouted as they slid down Akutagawa’s back while he lay on the ground. None of the kids were any older than ten, and there were a few children around three years old who were enviously watching them from the side.
“Sorry about all this. I really appreciate the help, though,” said the restaurant’s owner with a laugh. He was standing by the doorway and wearing a yellow apron. “I was worried the kids were gonna get lonely with Oda out of town, but seems they’ll be just fine from the looks of it. Anyway, I’ve gotta get back down and run the restaurant. I’m countin’ on ya.”
“Wai—”
Akutagawa tried to call for help, but the kid sitting on his head ended up silencing him with his butt.
Akutagawa was in one of the rooms in the restaurant’s adjoining row house. He used his skill to create a tent over his body to protect himself while he pulled out his cell phone and punched in Oda’s phone number.
“Oh. Hey, Akutagawa,” came Oda’s flat voice on the other side of the line. “What’s up?”
“Don’t play dumb, you traitor,” Akutagawa hissed. “‘Just play with some kids, and it’ll be over before you know it’? You clearly only wanted me to take over babysitting duty for you. More importantly…how many of them are there? Are you planning on building an army or something?”
In between his job at the detective agency, Oda would take in and foster orphans who had nowhere to go. He used to rent the second floor of the restaurant, but it was getting crowded, so he moved everyone to the tenement next door. They had become a huge family.
“I think there are fifteen altogether, but I don’t plan on making an army.”
“It was a figure of—Hmph. It doesn’t matter.” Akutagawa scowled. “At any rate, I find it hard to believe you can raise this many orphans on the agency’s salary… How are you earning enough to take care of them?”

“That’s a secret.” Oda let out a faint, almost inaudible laugh. “I left a list of tasks with the owner that I’d like for you to take care of on my behalf. I’m counting on you, Akutagawa. It’s your job to look after the kids, as the oldest one there.”
“A list? There are even more—”
However, Akutagawa suddenly realized something midsentence. “Wait… ‘The oldest one there’? Are you saying I’m the same as them?
Is that why you saved me at the riverside?”
“You’ve got this, Akutagawa.”
“Why you—!”
But Akutagawa’s cries proved fruitless, for Oda had already hung up. And just like that, the three days of hell began. The first day.
Akutagawa was given the task of creating playground equipment: monkey bars, zip lines, swings, slides, trampolines, and even some things he had never seen before. He transformed his overcoat into countless playthings—things the children could only dream of. Naturally, the kids were beside themselves with joy as they clung to, swung from, and jumped on Akutagawa’s overcoat-turned-playground equipment.
“Whoaaaaaa! Awesooome!” one of the kids shouted with glee as he dangled from the ceiling with fabric tied around his waist.
“Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!” Another child had been launched high into the air by Akutagawa’s overcoat and was now shaking him for more after landing.
“Ha-ha-ha! I’m going so fast!” Several children shrieked with delight, latching onto the overcoat as it swiftly soared through the air and over the ground like a dragon.
It began at nine in the morning and continued until three in the afternoon, only breaking for lunch. After that, the young children took a short nap before resuming playtime until dinner. There were over a dozen hyperactive kids and only one Akutagawa.
Akutagawa lay on the ground like a corpse while everyone else was eating dinner.
“Just…kill me…”

Akutagawa’s breathing came out in short gasps like a comatose patient on the verge of death. He had become one with the floor, now powerless against the pull of gravity.
“I really appreciate the hard work, kiddo. How ’bout some dinner?” asked the owner.
“No.” Akutagawa looked as if his soul had left his body. “If I try to eat now…all the food will just get stuck in my throat…and I’ll choke to death…” Day two.
It was Parents’ Day at one of the orphans’ schools, so Akutagawa participated on behalf of the child’s guardian.
The old wooden floor was a caramel brown. One of the walls was plastered with hiragana calligraphy. The gym teacher’s shouts echoed from the field. The hallways were freshly painted white.
And standing in the back of the classroom were the students’ parents and guardians, all of whom seemed restless. Half were worried about their child acting up in class. As for the other half, however…
“Hey… Whose father is that?”
“He’s staring daggers at the teacher, that’s for sure.”
“Are we in danger here? Because he looks like a hitman if you ask me…”
The rest anxiously whispered about Akutagawa as he impassively stared ahead. Nevertheless, he did not seem to care in the least. He stood stiffly at attention while simply watching the lecture with nothing specific on his mind.
“All right. Who can read what this says?” the teacher asked the students as she pointed at what was written on the blackboard. No student raised their hand, so she cocked her head and frowned.
“Really? No one?”
Akutagawa glanced over at one of the girls Oda had taken in. She was fidgeting in her chair and looking around anxiously. She was hesitant to raise her hand, since she was shy about answering all by herself. Akutagawa faintly clicked his tongue, and the little girl immediately began raising her hand into the air. She looked at her hand in surprise, but it didn’t stop. A piece of gray fabric was wrapped around her wrist. “Oh, Sakura! Great. Want to give it a shot?”
“U-um… Okay… It… It s-says ‘house’…” “That’s right! Good job.”
The guardians all oohed and aahed in admiration. Right as the little girl answered, the cloth released her wrist before crawling on the ground and returning to Akutagawa’s overcoat.
He appeared slightly pleased.

The third day.
The oldest boy asked Akutagawa to spar with him as a part of his combat training.
“I’m gonna get superstrong just like my big bro Oda. Then I’m gonna join the detective agency just like him, too! No matter what!”
The fourteen-year-old boy named Kousuke was orphaned during a struggle between rival criminal organizations known as the Dragon’s Head Conflict, until Oda took him in. Kousuke was now something like a big brother and leader to all the other kids. He also apparently helped out at the restaurant and saved up his earnings.
“I even bought a gun. A real one.”
Kousuke showed off his pistol from the other side of the service counter.
It was a 9mm just like Oda’s.
“Did you buy that with your own money?” “Yep.”
There were numerous smugglers at the harbor who sold anything and everything to anyone with the coin. Plenty of criminals would sell weapons to a small child if they were desperate for cash.
Akutagawa indifferently looked down at the gun and grunted. “Very well. I suppose I could help you train.”

Kousuke was slammed upside down against the fence with enough force to bend it before landing on the ground and moaning in agony.
“What’s wrong? I only tapped you.” “Damn it!”
Kousuke staggered back to his feet as his knees trembled. Akutagawa’s fabric immediately shot forward, wrapped around Kousuke’s neck before he could run away, and slammed him back down on the ground. Kousuke tried to scream, but every last bit of air had been expelled from his lungs. He and Akutagawa were training in an empty lot near the restaurant.
“You’ll only get in Oda’s way if you cannot even defeat me… Though I suppose that won’t be a problem if your goal is dying and burdening your siblings with your funeral expenses.”
“You…!”
Kousuke shakily got back to his feet, eyes still burning with determination.
“Still not discouraged, I see. Very well. I shall allow you to hit me once. However, failing to defeat me is an admission that you will never survive as a detective.”
“I’ll…show you… Haaaaaah!!”
Kousuke charged forward. It was a suicidal attack with absolutely no means of defense…or that was at least how he wanted it to seem. Moments before colliding with Akutagawa, he suddenly changed course, rolled to Akutagawa’s side, then immediately threw a high kick with all the strength he could muster. The kick closed in on Akutagawa’s jaw, powerful enough to violently rattle his brain against his skull, yet Kousuke’s heel only grazed Akutagawa’s chin.
“Spatial Break,” muttered Akutagawa emotionlessly.
A giant fist-shaped piece of fabric then slammed into Kousuke’s body, launching him straight back before he bounced and rolled off the ground as if he had been hit by a car.
“I despise the weak, for they can never follow their dreams. Their hopes are meaningless. You will never become Oda’s successor. You will accomplish nothing and die a nobody.”
Covered in dirt and cuts while on the ground, Kousuke clenched his teeth and groaned. “No! No, no, no, you’re wrong! I’m gonna be just like him! I will…! I swear I will!”
Akutagawa’s overcoat wiggled as it pulled out a gun. It was the 9mm pistol that Kousuke had shown off at the restaurant. Akutagawa had secretly swiped it from him when he had his guard down.
“That’s…” Kousuke’s face turned pale, for he just realized that his gun had been stolen.