Bungo Stray Dogs - Volume 7 Chapter 4 Part 1

Chapter 4 Part 1

“Could you place that ornament on the right near the ceiling? Yeah, right there. Just a little higher, please.”
Dazai was preparing for a banquet in a reception room within a shipyard building. The owner had gone bankrupt and was nowhere to be found, so the run-down shipyard became the perfect spot for illegal organizations to take root. The dock formerly used to repair ships was now a vacant lot while the three-story building that surrounded it had succumbed to disrepair and decay.
Inside the building were Dazai and Randou. What was once most likely a room decorated with expensive paintings and cushy leather chairs was now a decrepit hall full of broken glass and dotted with stains from a leaky roof. And Dazai was in the middle of redecorating this space exactly to his liking.
“Phew… I’m so excited. I bet Chuuya’s gonna be thrilled once he sees the huge party we’re throwing to celebrate his newfound freedom.”
He hummed a cheery tune as he hung a cloth garland on the wall. Even with his right arm in a cast, he was able to festoon the walls with one vividly colored decoration after the other.
“Oh, wow! This garland is so long! Worth every second put into preparing it. I bet I could cover every inch of the walls with this. Randou, here. Hold this corner for me. All these magnificent decorations are going to move Chuuya to tears.”
A high-quality rug of deep crimson was spread out on the floor while the sound system was playing upbeat, modern pop music popular with teen boys. Farther back in the room, there was a serving cart decorated with gold ornaments; atop it was a colossal cake that could feed twenty people and then some. Lights flashed alternating vivid colors throughout the dim room, transforming it into the deep sea, the twilit horizon, and a luscious green forest every few seconds.
“I don’t know, Dazai… I get the feeling any normal person would want to kill you over a welcome like this…,” Randou remarked timidly as he helped put up the decorations.
“Why do you say that?” Dazai asked curiously. He was hanging the endlessly long crimson garland. “Everything about this screams ‘Congrats on being relieved from duty, Chuuya.’ Good snacks, good drinks, good music, smiling friends… What am I missing?”
“While I admit I may not know what’s popular among teenagers these days…I am fairly positive they don’t like pit traps, at the very least…”
Randou stared fretfully at the floor like a small animal. The pit in question was completely hidden thanks to the rug, which was right in front of the giant cake visible from the entrance—precisely where curiosity would lead anyone invited to come inside.
“Hee-hee-hee… It isn’t just any pit, though! First, his Sheep friends are going to applaud and congratulate Chuuya as he’s guided to the back, where he’ll step onto the pit and fall straight down. Of course, a petty trap like this isn’t even going to make him bat an eye because he’ll just kick off the ground and jump back out. Unfortunately for him, however, there is no ground below to kick off. What’s waiting for him at the bottom of the pit is a thick sludge that would drown even a pond skater, guaranteed. Even Chuuya would have a difficult time escaping it. And then…hee-hee-hee… the real guest of honor—forty pounds of flour—will come falling onto Chuuya’s head as he struggles to escape the mud. And I’m not talking a dusting like a little romantic snowfall. No—a ton of flour is gonna bury him from head to toe the moment he falls into the pit. Chuuya’s skill only works on things he touches, so even if he gets one layer of flour off his body, there will still be plenty more fine powder left over that’s not directly touching him. Eventually, he’ll have to focus the gravity around his mouth to keep from suffocating. Then, as he’s just barely managing to breathe, he’s gonna do the only thing he can to fight back: scream obscenities at me. And those screams will serve as background music for the party as I partake in the delectable spread. Ah…! I’m literally trembling with excitement!”
Dazai was grinning from ear to ear, his cheeks rosy with giddiness like a child the day before Christmas. Randou, on the other hand, was utterly aghast.
“Ah, um… Well…I did learn one thing today. You would make a fantastic torturer in the Mafia,” Randou suggested as he fought to keep his lip from twitching. “More importantly, how are you going to even get Chuuya to attend?”
“That’s the easy part. All I need to do is trick a few Sheep into coming here and make it look like a real party. I’m practically finished with that part, to tell the truth.”
“Ah yes… Now I see why you’re Mori’s right-hand man…”
“Mori always encourages us to do the jobs that nobody else wants,” Dazai gloated.
“This…wasn’t what he had in mind.”
Once he’d finished decorating, Dazai dusted off his hands and returned to Randou’s side. “Anyway, what’s most important is that Chuuya and his friends patch things up,” he added. “They’re basically a bunch of sparks in a powder keg. They just haven’t realized it yet. Neither Chuuya nor the Sheep have any idea that their entire defense system is awful. It’s like… What’s the best way to describe it? They’ve got their wires crossed? They’re unstable? Or perhaps the undercooked meat theory would apply here?”
“Uh… The what theory?”
“Mori taught it to me. Imagine three teenagers went to a yakiniku restaurant,” Dazai began as he stroked his chin. “Usually, you’d put the raw meat on the grill, flip it over when one side is cooked, then take it off and eat it once the other side is done. However, these are three growing teenagers with healthy appetites, so they’re stuffing their faces with the meat the moment it’s finished cooking. Every one of them wants to eat even more, though. It’s basically an all-out war. That’s when one of them has an epiphany. He’s going to grab the meat and eat it a few moments before it finishes cooking. That way, he can eat as much as he wants before the other two can even pick up their chopsticks. He gives it a try, and the plan goes exactly how he imagined. He gets to eat to his heart’s content. Now the other two are at a disadvantage. There’s no point in coming to the restaurant if they can’t eat as much as they want. Do they come up with a solution, though? Of course they do—the same one the first guy came up with. In other words, they also decide to eat undercooked meat. There are no other options. Once they all start eating undercooked meat, there is no turning back. If one person stops, he alone will end up with less meat than the other two. Therefore, each one of them is trapped, forced to eat the undercooked meat and nothing else, even though all three know that perfectly cooked meat tastes much better. And that’s the undercooked meat theory. It explains at least half the misery in the entire world.”
“I see… In other words, since everyone pursued what was best for them, they couldn’t achieve what was best for the group… And furthermore, the one who came up with the strategy and caused this misery no longer had the means to fix it. Correct?” Randou tilted his head curiously. “And you’re claiming this same situation can explain what is happening with the Sheep as well?”
“Hee-hee-hee… What’s great about them, though, is that they don’t even realize they’re eating undercooked meat. Chuuya, the Sheep—what exciting little playthings they turned out to be. I never knew the underbelly of society could be such a thrill,” Dazai gushed before snickering yet again.
“True… I suppose I can agree with you there,” Randou replied, his hands held over a light for warmth. “Violence and war are not necessary for survival. If we all agreed to stop eating undercooked meat—in other words, if everyone agreed to stop fighting and banned all weapons—then violence would be no more. But that isn’t realistic. No matter what, someone will break the rules to get ahead of the rest because that’s always the most profitable option. Everyone else would have no choice but to eat undercooked meat—they would have to maintain their stance on fighting back only when provoked. You might say this is the true nature of conflict in the underworld.”
“You probably know much more about that than me, since you’ve been in the Mafia for so long,” Dazai argued, a faint smirk on his lips.
“Yes… I was a low-level grunt during the previous boss’s reign,” Randou said. He was now rubbing his hands together to warm them further. “I had no support, no financial backing. I was the dregs of the organization. My duty was to fight and die on the front lines. To some extent, my skill helped me to survive those many battles, but I mainly have my good fortune to thank. After Mori became the new boss, he noticed my abilities and promoted me all the way to a sub-executive. That is why I feel eternally indebted to him. For his sake, I would dispose of any foe who stands in the

Mafia’s way. I intend to do everything I can in that regard, even against a foe as dangerous as Arahabaki.”
“I’m counting on you.” Dazai smiled.
“By the way, Dazai… You said you found out who’s behind the Arahabaki ordeal. Is that true? Or were you simply lying to torment Chuuya?”
“Both!” Dazai laughed. “I brought it up in front of Chuuya so that he’d make a bet with me. But I really do know who’s behind this.”
“Oh? …And who is that?” “You, Randou.”
Silence.
But it wasn’t simply quiet. It was as if all sound had escaped the room. “You impersonated the old boss and spread the rumors about
Arahabaki,” he continued. “Anything you want to say for yourself?”
Randou scratched his head in vexation. “Excuse me…? Uh… I… I’m terribly sorry, but…I’m not sure how to react here. I’ve never been called a criminal before.”
“It’s fine. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere,” Dazai said with a grin. “I’m feeling generous today, so let me tell you how a criminal would normally react. First, after being called a criminal, you would immediately say, ‘That’s ridiculous. I couldn’t possibly do such a thing.’ Or you might say, ‘That’s a really funny joke, Dazai.’ Then I’d reply with ‘But it’s true. You are the criminal behind all this.’ The criminal would then get heated and try to argue. ‘Did you not hear what I just said? I told you I feel indebted to the boss. Why would I try to incite an internal conflict to destroy the Mafia?’ …Are we good so far, Randou?”
“Well…I suppose I have nothing to add. Besides, all that is true,” Randou answered uncomfortably. “You said exactly what was on my mind. And…? What would your rebuttal be?”
“I’d say this: ‘Your debt to him means nothing, Randou, because attacking the Mafia isn’t your goal. The man behind all this has a different objective.’ So…? Think it’s maybe about time you took over from here?”
“Yes, I suppose… Although I’m still a little confused.” Randou scratched his head. “I don’t like being called a criminal, so perhaps I should take your claim seriously. Hmm… What evidence do you have? Because you have shown no—”

“‘No theoretical evidence that even suggests I am behind this other than simple speculation.’” Dazai finished Randou’s sentence. “Exactly, Randou. That’s how you’re supposed to do it. Now…would I really accuse a sub- executive without any evidence?”
“Well, I suppose you have something, given how confident you are.” Randou sounded perturbed. “Something that seems like evidence to you— something that I cannot even imagine.”
“So you must be super curious, right? I feel bad for making you wait like that.” Dazai shrugged. “You made a mistake—an extremely basic error. I bet you’re going to hate yourself when I tell you.”
“And what would that error be?”
“The ocean,” Dazai declared with a wag of his index finger. “You said when you saw the black flames of Arahabaki, you could also see the ocean
—that only the sea in the distance retained its calm, steely surface.” “Yes…I did say that. Because that’s indeed what I saw. What about it?” “Are you sure you don’t want to figure it out yourself?”
“Apologies, but I’m afraid I’m not following at all. Just tell me.”
“Fine.” Dazai nodded, smiling. “Your story took place in the middle of Suribachi, but Suribachi was turned into a hemispherical basin valley in the explosion. Which means…”
“Ah!” Randou suddenly exclaimed. “Ah yes…I see.”
“Exactly. There’s no way you could have seen the ocean. That massive valley is just over a mile wide, so you could stand on the tips of your toes and never even get a glimpse of it. Once I realized that, the rest was easy. So why did you say you saw the ocean? The rest of your story was perfect and didn’t contradict the rumors at all. Your description of Arahabaki was extremely convincing. And if you ask me, I do think you saw it: the ocean, that is. That’s why you made that mistake. You saw the ocean from Suribachi a long time ago…long before the explosion eight years prior. In other words, you saw the calamity—the black explosion that created Suribachi and gave birth to the rumors of Arahabaki itself.”
Randou didn’t respond.
Dazai quietly observed him for a few moments, then gently sighed. “That one gossip-loving Sheep said the oldest rumor about Arahabaki went back eight years ago to when that explosion created Suribachi. That incident was probably what started the rumors about an ancient god. Someone else must’ve witnessed it from afar. However, you witnessed the entire event close up. You were so close that any normal person would have been vaporized in the explosion. You described that memory with such accuracy that you accidentally mentioned the ocean as well. And now your motive should become clear once I learn why you had to describe that day so vividly.”
Randou, who had been listening in silence, sighed defeatedly. “You had a bet with Chuuya, didn’t you?” he asked. “Well, it looks like you won. You found the perpetrator first.”
“Thanks, Randou.” Dazai beamed. “Now I have a dog that’ll do whatever I say for the rest of my li—”

All of a sudden, something crashed through the wall and collided right into Randou.

“It was you!” a gruff voice shouted. “I beat that sly dirtbag! I win!
You’re the one who’s behind all this!”
Randou had been thrown clean from the building and tumbled onto the ground outside. Standing over him was a small-framed boy.
Dazai blinked a few times. “Wow…”
“Sorry, man, but it’s over.” The boy boastfully smirking was none other than Chuuya. “You can’t fool me. I saw through your lies and— Ahhh?! What are you doing here, you slimeball?!”
“I’d like to ask you the same question, pip-squeak,” replied an annoyed Dazai. “Just so you know, I already announced that he was the criminal before you got here. I was in the middle of explaining how he did it when you showed up.”
“Huh? You were in the middle of explaining…which means you still haven’t finished, right? Then it looks like I win. I defeated the mastermind behind all this. Which equals my victory. The strongest always win. That’s just how the world works.”
“It’s people like you who turn the world into undercooked meat,” Dazai said with evident disgust on his face. “Did the ocean convince you it was Randou, too?”
“The ocean?” Chuuya seemed puzzled. “The hell are you talkin’ about?”

“Huh? Then how did you know Randou was the mastermind behind all this?”
“It was obvious if ya actually listened to him. Every eyewitness mentioned they saw the old Mafia boss, but this guy said he saw Arahabaki itself. That’s impossible, though. That’s why I knew he was lyin’.”
Randou lay on the ground groaning in pain. “Does that mean…you decided I was the one behind this because you don’t believe gods exist?” he asked.
“Ha-ha. No. It’s the opposite. It’s ’cause gods do exist,” Chuuya declared. “I know that for a fact. Which is why I know there’s no way you coulda seen Arahabaki in Suribachi.”
At that, Randou’s presence suddenly changed. His cold body stopped trembling. “You know…that Arahabaki exists?” he managed to ask.
“Yeah,” said Chuuya. “You saw it, too, right? Eight years ago. You wouldn’t have been able to describe it with such accuracy otherwise.”
“It’s true… I did see it,” Randou admitted as he sat up. “But I didn’t simply see it. I experienced the explosion up close. It came out of nowhere… I was severely wounded, hovering between life and death. The impact and the fire caused me to lose my memories. I wandered Yokohama until I caught the previous Mafia boss’s attention, and he invited me to join the organization.” Randou fixed Chuuya with a heated gaze and added, “Chuuya, you know, don’t you? You know where Arahabaki is right now.”
Chuuya, however, didn’t answer. He simply stared back at Randou, a piercing look in his eyes.
“Tell me,” Randou demanded.
“I guess you would want to know, huh, Randou?” Dazai faintly smirked. “After all, that’s why you started the rumors. The only one who could see through the lies about Arahabaki is the person who knows the true Arahabaki. By describing it so vividly, you shined a massive spotlight on yourself in order to find whoever knew the truth, right?”
Chuuya quietly looked back and forth between them for a few moments before eventually shaking his head.
“Sigh… Why do you wanna see it so bad?” he said. “It doesn’t have a personality or a mind of its own, so what’s meetin’ it gonna do for you? You gonna pray to it because it’s a god? It’s a god of destruction, y’know. Nothing more than a mass of energy. It’s no different from a typhoon or an earthquake. Ya might as well pray to a power plant.”