If I Disobey the Duke - Chapter 147

Shattered (6)

In the end, it was a voice like that, with an unbearable sharpness coming out of it. It wasn’t the side of him that he had always suppressed, but a reaction that was much more new.

“Unless you think so, do you have anything to be sorry for?”

Lily choked on her breath as if it had been stuck between her breasts. To her, It looked like he was about to throw her away. Desperately she grabbed his arms. “Oh, no. No. I never…!”

Her mind went blank in hopelessness. She resented the fact that she couldn’t say much.

She vividly remembered the tingling pain in his gray eyes.

Come on, I have to say something…

Lily was an idiot who couldn’t say anything. She was tired of the habit of accumulating tears in frustration and loneliness. “For nothing, to meet a woman… like me. Hearing that….”

“Even if it’s not you, I’ll be forever nothing.” He exhaled as if he was holding back. A heartless resignation hung in the dark cloud-like eyes.

“…No. I was talking nonsense. It is my fault.”

In response, as if trying to end the conversation, Lily grabbed his sleeve even tighter. “I don’t think of you that way. Therefore…”

“Then what do you think?” A false calm settled over Vlad’s features. “If I’m not disgusting, then…”

He’s not a monster, neither is he ugly. How can I explain it without saying it out loud?

Her lack of vocabulary was pitiful. Her palms were wet with cold sweat. His arms, which were weak at will, slipped away. The minutes and seconds that flowed in the stillness were anxious like eternity.

He was silent for a long time, as if choosing what to say. His large hand touched her chin, brushed her lips, and then fell off.

“Am I pitiful?”

Lily felt like her heart had crashed to the floor. Her whole body stiffened like a dead tree, and chills began to form at her feet. Something like that…

“I-I…” She did not know how she could convey her uncontaminated sincerity. “Vlad. You…”

His eyes were black and she didn’t know what she was looking at. She no longer wanted them to be crippled by misunderstandings.

“You’re different.” Her voice was murky, pouring out of her confession.

Several deep exhalations followed. A stillness as if something was about to break right away.

Lily finally shook her head. Her stomach was numb. She must have had an empty stomach, but she groaned as if she was nauseated.

I’m sorry.

She shivered with pity for herself. She could have said a lot better than that. She lived her whole life like that, and she couldn’t even apologize properly.

So again, if we go back to a relationship worse than the first time…

“That’s it.”

Lily lifted her head. She did not readily understand what he meant. He narrowed the distance with a large stride. His large hands clasped her cheeks carefully to keep her from backing away.

Her heart started pounding louder and faster. She didn’t like the tense silence.

“Then go on, have pity on me. I….” He had no one to love him anyway. It was an outrageous expectation.

So, except for contempt and hatred. Even a drop of sympathy should be nice.

She was a woman who was weak in such things. A woman who shouted against her brother who was violent, but fell to her knees for her brother who cried all the time.

If only he could get that kind of attention.

“Please sympathize with me. Lily.”

Lily’s heart, which had been devoured by her, fell apart in an instant.

Why? Why? Does this man want me so desperately? What did I say? Just for someone like me.

She couldn’t speak nor pull away. Eventually, their lips met.

The soft touch, warmth, scent filled her senses.

He held her with a gentleness reserved for fragile things. Vlad’s kiss was soft, almost pleading.

“Lily…” It was a cold whisper.

Her heart swelled as the wet breath touched her lips. In the end, Lily’s tears flowed down her cheeks and fell to the floor.